Myths Surrounding Poly

Myths Surrounding Poly

Modern relationships have changed and not every marriage or partnership consists of a man and a woman.  There are more people who practice non-monogamous relationships and find fulfillment with more than one partner.  These types of relationships are referred to as polyamorous.  You have probably heard a great deal of misinformation surrounding poly relationships.  Let’s set the record straight and dispel the myths surrounding poly dating.

There is No Cheating in Poly

That is not the case at all.  Just because you are in a poly relationship that doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want without consequences, there are still usually agreements to follow.  Both you and your partner can decide things like boundaries together and any potential partners that may be off limits.  Compromise and communication are key just like in any relationship.

Jealousy Doesn’t Exist in Poly

Jealousy happens everywhere and it isn’t going to disappear in an open relationship.  On the other hand most people in poly relationships address jealousy straight on and commit to working through it.  Instead of feeling jealous that your partner loves other people as well they choose to feel happy that their partner is happy.  Jealousy still happens but rather than letting the emotion damage the relationships many people choose to look for the root cause of the jealousy and address it.  Here are some tips on addressing jealousy in poly relationships.

Poly is All About Sex

This is probably the most common misconception out there and it couldn’t be more wrong.  While sex is important in any relationship including poly it is not the be all and end all of poly relationships.  Poly can take a lot of different forms from partners free to have sexual relationships with other people, what you would call an “open marriage” to three or more people in the primary relationship.  Poly gives everyone involved the ability to structure the relationship however they want.

Poly People are Edgy

Poly people come from all walks of life and you probably already know someone who practices poly or has an open marriage and you don’t realize it.  Poly people tend to be discrete when it comes to their relationships because of the stigma attached.  They guard their personal lives because it can cost them standing in the community or affect their employment.  You would be surprised at how common poly is.

Poly relationships and dating are no more or no less complicated than any other relationship.  It’s a struggle to find someone that fits into your life no matter what type of relationship you’re looking for.

Why People Choose Poly

Why People Choose Poly

When people think of romance what typically comes to mind are candlelit dinners for two and romantic evenings together.  In almost all of these scenarios there are only two people.  Even today where same-sex marriage is socially acceptable the relationships only involved two people.  These aren’t the only types of romantic relationships that are possible.  It still remains taboo that a relationship could have more than two people so that begs the question why people choose poly.  Let’s explore poly relationships and the appeal of them.

Poly is More Common than You Think

The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy did a study on poly relationships back in 2016 and discovered that more than 20 percent of adults have been in a non-traditional relationship.  That could be anything from an open relationship where each person has romantic relationships outside the primary relationship to three or more people in a relationship.  The common thing among these relationships is that all partners agree to this type of arrangement and there is no deception.

Still Misunderstood

Despite the fact that nearly 1 in 5 adults have been in some type of poly relationship the concept of poly is still largely misunderstood.  That can be attributed to the fact that each relationship is unique in its construction.  Poly relationships are often mistaken for an open relationship but they are different.  In poly relationships the primary couple are not just committed to each other but to multiple partners at the same time.

Closed and Open Poly Relationships

Poly can come in the form of either open or closed relationships.  A closed relationship is made up of a group of people who are all committed to one another and they don’t allow other people into the relationship.  Other poly relationships that are open have the primary partners dating other people but their primary partner isn’t involved.  Poly can take any shape the participants want it to.  Often you have a primary relationship where two people live as a married couple but date other people.

Communication is the Key to Success

One thing that all poly relationships have in common is open communication.  They find a way to make the relationship work for everyone involved, that includes clearing up the misconceptions around poly relationships.  Poly is about finding fulfillment in your own way and organizing the relationship that makes everyone happy.  Poly isn’t for everyone but for those that choose this lifestyle they are happy and comfortable in it.